Jet Lag Has Nothing on Baby Lag

There are many ways in which becoming a parent changes you. You learn new things. You gain new skills. Some are obvious (diaper changing... patience...) and some are not. Take for instance, what I like to call "baby lag."

As a new parent, you learn to live with major sleep deprivation. All the time. You think it's bad when you're still at home on maternity leave. I mean, new babies wake up like every 90 minutes and want something. Like milk. Or a clean diaper. Sheesh. But then you go back to work. You still have to get up in the middle of the night. Every night. Sometimes multiple times. AND you also have to smack that snooze button a couple times before dragging your butt out of bed because there's some sort of crazy expectation that you actually show up at work. So you wander about in a sleep deprived haze hoping people at work won't notice your serious lack of concentration and short-term memory.

But all this has an upside. You have now conquered what I call "baby lag." And if you have successfully and fully obtained this skill, you are now immune to the more commonly known affliction of jet lag. I have traveled all the way around the world since my child was born. And you know what? International business travel jet lag has got NOTHING on baby lag. You get to sleep when you want. It's quiet. You have no chores to keep you up. People EXPECT you to be unfocused and drifty. Come on. Piece of cake. You have mad baby lag skills now.

A brief word of warning, though... international family travel is another story entirely... But that's a post for another day.

Threat Advisory Level

After my first plane trip alone with the little man, I have created my very own Threat Advisory System. This helpful system was inspired by Homeland Security, and similar to our national threat level, the advisory rarely goes below Yellow...

GREEN
Baby is asleep, or perhaps having a bottle. There is a LOW RISK of loud noises, crying, melt-downs, major squirming.

BLUE
Baby is currently occupied with a toy, or perhaps looking out the window. There is a GENERAL RISK of loud noises, crying, melt-downs, major squirming.

YELLOW
Baby is starting to squirm, throw toys on the floor, whine in progressively louder tones, and will not accept his pacifier. There is an ELEVATED RISK of loud noises, crying, melt-downs, major squirming.

ORANGE
Baby is only consoled by playing with parental possessions at significant risk of permanent / expensive damage (e.g., sunglasses, cell phone, iPod) or personal injury (e.g., keys, jewelry). There is a HIGH RISK of loud noises, crying, melt-downs, major squirming.

RED
Nothing will pacify baby, leaving parent to consider why did they make this stupid trip in the first place, how can such a sweet creature make cry so loudly for so long, and what is that loud grinding sound? Oh, it's my teeth. There is a SEVERE RISK of loud noises, crying, melt-downs, major squirming.

NOTE: Do not accidentally proceed directly to Code ORANGE by forgetting that your sunglasses are on top of your head, well within arm's reach of any baby who knows his stuff. Once the sunglasses are in the baby's hand, removal removal of said glasses causes immediate escalation to Code RED.

Traveling Alone with a Baby

Two weeks ago, I made my first solo airplane trip with the little man. This is the first of several posts on the things I learned on the trip. Overall, it went really well, and the little man was a little prince nearly the whole way. For the record, he is 10 months old, and not yet walking.

The trickiest part of traveling alone is navigating from the car to the plane, and from the plane to the rental car. Here are some of my tips.

1. Minimize the large bulky items that you take with you. If you're staying with family or friends, have them borrow a pack n' play, stroller, etc, so that you don't have to lug that with you. If you're staying in a hotel, nearly every hotel will provide you with a crib.
   
2. Use curb-side check-in. This is a little tricky with only one driver, so you have to have two car seats. One to check at the curb, and one for the little one to ride in on the way to the parking garage. If you have more than one child, well, I guess I'll have to figure that one out when I get there. This was also nice when we returned to the car on the way home - I didn't have to install the car seat with the little man on my back, or sitting on the front seat getting into stuff he wasn't supposed to.
   
3. Use a baby carrier. In #1 above, I recommend leaving the stroller at home*. My ergo baby carrier got us through the airport in a breeze, and you get lots of nice smiles from strangers who like to see a cute little baby riding on your back.
4. Pack only one wheeled suit case, if you can. I used our bigger-than-the-ones-that-fit-in-the-overhead wheeled suitcase. Then check and see if you can hook your car seat onto the handle of the suitcase somehow. Our Britax Roundabout has a strap near the top that works perfectly for this. I hooked the car seat over the handle of the suitcase, and was able to make it to the rental car bus pretty easily. I didn't even need a Smarte Carte. If you need more than one bag, then you'll probably have to go the Smart Carte route.
   
5. I was committed to taking only the diaper bag onto the plane (and checking everything else), so I had to put food, blankie, toys, my wallet, diapers, changing pad, bottles, etc, etc, into the one bag. I packed a little bag of little toys, which were variously successful. Also successful as baby entertainment was the in-flight magazine, the silverware from my lunch, the three people sitting around me who were making faces at the little man from time to time... All back to the Fun for Nothin' concept. You don't need to bring a ton of toys, and you can't if you only want to bring one bag on the plane.

*Note that if you leave the stroller at home, you may have issues using the restroom! I found I had several options (listed in order of preference): 1) Go with the little man still riding on my back, 2) Go in the airplane bathroom, holding him carefully up as high as I could (elastic-waist pants recommended, as the belt buckle was the biggest challenge), 3) get a flight attendant or the nice lady sitting next to you to hold your baby while you go, or 4) put your baby on the floor in the bathroom (ew). I only tried #1 and #2.